You, Me, and Him
by Yenny
Summary: Can love really be shared? An attempt at a threesome, but it wouldn't end quite the same :D
1. Two Monkeys

**You, Me, and Him**

by: Yenny

**PART 01: Two Monkeys **

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Nobunaga Kiyota, second year high school student from Kainan high, reached for his house keys and wearily inserted it in the keyhole. He felt sore, sticky, and a warm and pleasurable bath was just what his body needs to sooth his aching nerves. He was tired, dead tired, and it was all because of their new basketball captain, Jin. 

_We even practice on Sundays, like today._ Who knew that Maki's successor would turn out to be such a slave driver? _He's worse than Maki. _

Sighing, the key turned and then found, to his surprise, that the door was unlocked. 

"What the…" he trailed and peered cautiously inside to check for things amiss. 

Wide blue eyes viewed the scene before him; broken glasswares, couch semi-buried under piles of old magazines and newspapers, TV switched on, radio blasting tunes of an unknown loud rock band, chess board pieces lying on the ground, and the smell of something burning. 

_The kitchen._

Dropping his things, he scurried towards the said direction and found an omelet left to burn on the stove. Cursing under his breath, "Oi, red monkey, come out from wherever you are and show your stupid self," he yelled, knowing only one person who had the audacity to turn his apartment into something a tornado had blown in. 

Silence. 

_Damn, where is he? I should remember to ask for his set of keys. This should not happen again or Maki would have a fit when he arrives and sees this mess_. Kiyota shuddered from the thought. 

Hearing a thud, "Shit! The bedroom." 

Like a man possessed, Kiyota sped through the mess cluttered on the floor and went inside his room. Once inside, he managed to breath out a sigh of relief when he saw no major damage done. Venturing further inside, he found his closet being invaded by a tall carrot top with his back on him. 

"Hey, what are you looking for?" He inquired, sitting by the edge of the bed, but his visitor didn't reply. 

His brows rose at that. "Do you intend to create havoc in my closet as well?" He asked, placing more conviction in his voice. But still, the other didn't answer. Getting impatient, he stood up and went behind the redhead. 

Peeking over Sakuragi's broad shoulder, "What are you looking for?" He asked again then cursed under his breath when he saw his clothes and belongings in complete disarray. 

Fed up, "That's it. Get away from there. I won't let you turn my closet into something like yours," he stated, using one arm to bodily shove the taller guy away. Brown eyes glared at him but still said nothing. 

Kiyota sighed, again, and then chuckled after noticing that he'd been doing that a lot since he came home. _Damn it! I don't need this right now_! He inwardly groaned. _Shower. What I need is a shower then I'll be fine, _he deduced and was about to sigh again if he hadn't caught himself in time. With a last shake of his head, Kiyota closed his closet and followed the Shohoku player to the living room. 

"Hey, have you gone deaf and mute all of a sudden?" Kiyota shouted, rounding up the corner. "Will you say something? I don't intend to talk to myself you know." 

"Then SHUT UP!" Sakuragi hollered. 

"Oh, so you can still use your vocal cords huh?" Kiyota gibed, not the least bit intimated by the tone of voice. 

As vision of the redhead came into sight, determined footsteps came into halt as blue eyes regarded the dejected figure by the couch; eyes closed, arm draped over his forehead while his other lay on his side. A definite sight for sore eyes and Kiyota drank his fill, weary limbs temporarily forgotten. 

_He's way better than a shower_. 

As he was enjoying the enticing picture that was Sakuragi, Kiyota's thoughts were running rampant. He couldn't very well decide if he wanted to strangle the guy or jump him. He hates to admit it but… he missed the Shohoku player's company. Sakuragi used to stay and come by the apartment almost everyday and everynight but it stopped the minute… "No," shaking his wild and unruly head, _I wouldn't think of that guy right now. Hana's here with me and that's all that matters for now. _

With that, his eyes focused on the tall carrot top, half-lying enticingly for him not to make good use of the opportunity. Smirking, he walked towards the redhead and gently sat on his lap. 

Surprised chocolate colored eyes snapped open upon the feel of the weight. "What are you doing?" 

"I missed you, Hana. You didn't come by for a whole week," Kiyota said, leaning forward to nuzzle Sakuragi's neck. 

"What are you talking about? We were just together three days ago," Sakuragi stated, remembering the time when the Kainan player bruised his knee. 

With lips inches over that of the redhead, "But that was different. You asked me out so you could have someone with you to check out the stuffs you bought for that stupid and stiff icicle." Kiyota couldn't hide the sneer in his voice much as he couldn't contain his dislike towards Sakuragi's real love. 

The redhead leaned his head to the side and scowled upon hearing the description. "And you tell me that now? I had to carry your sorry ass back here because you were clumsy. And for the last time, he's not an icicle!" 

Ignoring the irritated tone, the blue-eyed tease just wound his arms around the redhead's neck and said, "It was just a minor bruise, you stupid monkey. I only wanted you to come here to… you know," Kiyota admitted, eyes twinkling with obvious meaning. 

Snorting upon the obvious come one, "You're way too horny for your own good. Wait till Maki comes home tonight and you'll get your fill till next month," Sakuragi said, wrapping his arms loosely around Kiyota. 

Leaning forward, Kiyota nibbled Sakuragi's lower lip and casually replied, "Why wait till later? You're here, I'm here, and we could do it before he comes home," Kiyota said as a matter-of-factly, grinding his hips suggestively against the redhead. 

Stifling a moan, "You know I can't. Not now," the redhead muttered, placing both hands on Kiyota's hips to stop him from moving. 

With a frustrated groan, "Why? Because of him? You think being celibate all of a sudden because he returned would make him go back to you?" Kiyota asked, not able to hide the slight tone of jealousy in his voice. 

Sakuragi's eyes acquired a hard glitter and with a frown, he lifted the weight off his lap and dumped it unceremoniously beside him.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Kiyota exclaimed, rubbing his arms to sooth the ache from Sakuragi's tight grip on them earlier. 

The brown-eyed teenager did not respond, instead he lowered his crimson head and raked his fingers through his tousled mane. Getting exasperated with the guy's obvious hesitance in answering questions, "You come here, thrash everything you see, act uncharacteristically silent when asked a question, and expect me to be okay with it?" He bellowed, nearing the end of his patience. "Now, for the last time. What the heck is the matter with you?" He shouted, no longer able to hold his temper. 

Unfazed, Sakuragi remained cradling his head between his hands and then, after a terse silence, said, "He rejected me." 

The words were said rather softly that the dark haired guy almost missed it. Suddenly he understood why his companion was acting like a demented idiot. "Oh. So your well thought out plan didn't work, huh?" Kiyota taunted. Seeing no reaction, "Well, what do you expect? You left him hanging before he left for the states and now that he's back, you thought he'd welcome you with open arms? You expect too much." He snorted. 

Sakuragi felt a prick upon hearing that. He knew it to be true, deep down, but hearing it said out loud made it real. Venting his anger, he shoved Kiyota none too gently to the side then stood up. "You're a great help, you know that?" 

Taken slightly aback, Kiyota could only settle comfortably back in his seat, on top of a now very crumpled magazine, and laughed, rather fondly, at his companion's obvious frustration. "Ok then, you tell me. What did you think that ice block would do when you tell him of your feelings?" 

Slightly piqued, "I don't know. I just know that he still has feelings for me," Sakuragi honestly replied, distancing himself from Kiyota. 

Brows furrowed, "How on earth could you know that? For all you know he might have a lover stashed somewhere," Kiyota pointed, ignoring the fact that it'll hurt Sakuragi. 

Whirling around, brown orbs lit with emotions primal to man blazed across the room to clash with unrelenting blue ones. "NOT TRUE!" 

Looking down, "Again, how would you know? Did you ask? Where did you get the notion that he still has feelings for you anyway?" Kiyota asked, his voice lowered to almost a whisper. It pained him to think of it but... A part of him wished that Shohoku's former ace does have feelings for Sakuragi still, for Sakuragi's sake, regardless of how it affects him. 

_How did I get myself into this mess in the first place? _Kiyota questioned himself. It was not a first that he asked himself that and it looked like it wouldn't be the last either. _Not till I get to talk to him about it. But then again, what's there to say? _He frowned. 

"Damn it!"Kiyota unconsciously cursed under his breath.

"Nobu..."

The way his name sounded brought Kiyota's head up and he gasped. The redhead was looking at him with a torn expression, wanting to comfort yet unable to do so. _If only ..._ He trailed and then shook his head. He couldn't continue. He wouldn't allow himself to continue. 

Wanting Sakuragi to be with HIM and not Rukawa was just plain selfish. He already have Maki. Maki loves him and he loves Maki. Simple. No complications whatsoever in that equation. And yet, why was he still asking for more? Why would he still want Sakuragi for himself? Why couldn't he just allow himself to be open and accepting of Sakuragi's feelings for the silent Shohoku player? The redhead monkey never hid his feelings and both he and Maki knew the score. But still, the pain was there and so was... Jealousy. 

That was the problem that beset him the very moment that Sakuragi first told them about Rukawa and he was both surprised and appalled by feeling that way. But he couldn't help it. The feeling was there and he was always hard pressed in keeping a tight lid on it everytime Rukawa was mentioned. 

_Like now... _He inwardly groaned. How he wished he could give voice to his feelings without the fear of loosing Sakuragi altogether. But since he couldn't, he pushed the green monster's head deep down towards the recesses of his heart and re-placed the lid which held it down before.

After taking a deep calming breath, Kiyota felt better enough that he forced a small smile on his face and faced Sakuragi, hoping against hope that he could stay neutral from then on. "Were you really sure that he loved you? Maybe you just misread his actions or you could have misinterpreted some words and mistook it for love. Or maybe... He could have been just be toying with you. Didn't you even think that that was possible?" 

Without even thought or hesitation, "No. He was not lying. You can call him a lot of names but never a liar," Sakuragi replied and then his eyes clouded in remembrance of that fateful day. No matter what Kiyota or anyone else would say, he knew that Rukawa did not lie to him that day. 

"Why are you so sure?" Kiyota pressed.

Closing his eyes, "Because he was not wearing his customary expression that day. In fact, he weird me out and the first thing I blurted was 'What are you up to, Rukawa?' and then, he smiled." Opening his eyes, Sakuragi gave Kiyota a lopsided grin and immersed himself once more in his memory. "I was shocked. I almost fell when I backed away. Just looking at a smiling Rukawa bowled me. Not only that but he touched me." Lifting a hand to his face, "He touched my face and I didn't pull away." Still caressing his face as if thinking that it was Rukawa who was doing it to him, Sakuragi continued. "I liked it. I felt warm all over. I was so surprised with what he did and about my reaction that I didn't say anything till he said that he liked me." Dropping his hand, "And that is when my nightmare started. I slapped his hand away and started calling him names." Shaking his head free of unwanted memories, "I hurt him. I know I did. I said such hateful things and I even called him a fag. I told him that I hate him and that I could never like him or feel anything for him except hate." Now pacing back and forth, Sakuragi raked his fingers through his hair and said, "I even bragged that I'd tell Haruko so she could stop her dreams and be with me. Then, I just went on and on and kept ridiculing him and then he punched me." Stopping in his tracks, he fisted his heads and bowed his head. "He left me. He left me sprawled on the ground but not before saying that he'll not be bothering me again. Then he left." Turning his head, he looked straight at Kiyota and asked, "Know what's ironic?" 

Kiyota couldn't find his voice to answer so he just shook his head.

"Like you, I didn't believe him. I didn't believe all that bullshit he said to me that day."

Keeping his voice calm, "What changed your mind?"

Leaning his forehead against a wall, Sakuragi closed his eyes and said, "The way he looked at me when he said it. It was the same way that Maki looks at you and how you look at Maki." Turning sideways, brown caught blue in an intense gaze before saying, "And the same way that you sometimes looked at me."

Kiyota gasped. "How... I... Hana, I..."

Sakuragi held his hand to stop Kiyota. "Not now. Please? I don't think I could handle it. Let's just be whatever we are to each other for now, ok?" 

"Ok."

Smiling a little, Sakuragi continued leaning his forehead against the wall and closed his eyes. "So now you know the whole story. I've been stupid huh? Stupid to have thrown away the chance of having someone in my life. Who knows? Maybe I'd be as happy as you and Maki if I weren't such an ignorant moron."

"Ignorant, yes. Stupid, no. You didn't know your feelings back then. Hell, you didn't even know you're gay till..."

"Till you seduced me?" Sakuragi concluded. 

Laughter, and a tinge of fondness, which didn't escape Kiyota's hearing, made the latter smile with affection. "Seduced you? You came begging for it, Hana."

Indignant, Sakuragi straightened and threw a mock glare across the room. "I did not! You kissed me first!"

Waving a dismissing hand, Kiyota stood up and surveyed his surroundings. "Yeah yeah. Whatever. Fact is, you enjoyed it and don't you dare deny it," he dared, pointing a finger at the adorably blushing redhead.

"Ch. Whose denying it?" Sakuragi countered and then, as if realizing something, his expression turned melancholy again.

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized that you were my first kiss."

"And that's bad?"

Shaking his head, Sakuragi offered an apologetic smile and explained, "No. It's just that, I wish..." Taking a deep breath, "I wish Rukawa was my first kiss. Like Maki was yours," he delivered.

Hearing that pained voice stopped whatever taunts Kiyota wanted to say. Walking towards the Shohoku player, he laid a hand on the other's shoulder and turned him around. "I'm not sorry for that but, look at it this way, you're now a better kisser than before and you have me to thank for that," he playfully chided, trying to lighten the mood.

Looking down, Sakuragi couldn't help the sigh as well as the genuine smile which graced his lips afterwards upon seeing the comforting love the other was obviously offering. No matter how he professed to feel deeply towards his silent Kitsune, Kiyota's show of affection always makes him feel good inside. "Yeah," he replied, slightly chuckling as he ruffled the other's unruly hair.

Glad to see the slight change in Sakuragi's mood, Kiyota nodded his head then turned his attention elsewhere so as to completely stir away from the depressing topic. Gesturing towards the pile of mess, "You do know that you have to help me clean this mess up. Not to mention replace all the broken things before Shinichi gets here," he said, silently praying that Maki would not make an appearance before they could clean the place. His lover had a reputation of being Mr. Perfect and that did not apply only to basketball but to everything else as well. Seeing the state of their apartment would definitely cause a heated argument and he wouldn't want that since the dark and tanned player had not been home for a whole week. 

Temporarily forgetting his personal dilemma, brown eyes scanned the area and mentally kicked himself for the mess he had unconsciously done. _Damn! I'm so messed up! _ He inwardly groaned, resisting the urge to throw a much larger tantrum. 

Collecting himself, Sakuragi faced his blue-eyed companion and wearily said, "Er… Ok I'll help you clean the place up. But…" 

Not really liking the tone of that voice, "But…" Kiyota waited. 

Forcing a grin, "I... I don't have the money to replace the things I broke," the redhead hesitantly revealed, running his fingers through his already disheveled mane. 

Eyes as huge as saucers, "WHAT?" Kiyota exploded. "So you expect me to replace everything you trashed?" 

With the realization of the extent of what he'd done dawning on him not to mention the guilt that went along with it, Sakuragi took a tentative step back and held his hand up in a show of surrender. "You could give me a loan," he suggested, putting on the best looking puppy face he could muster at the face of the now seething Kiyota. 

Ignoring the obvious ploy of getting him to simmer down, "No!" Kiyota cried vehemently, stomping away from the redhead. "You haven't even paid your last loan yet. I just have to tell Shinichi the truth," he announced. And then added, "That'll stop you from coming here to thrash the place when you're in a bad mood." 

Kiyota noticed in satisfaction that the brown-eyed teenager had inkling as to what Maki would do to him, judging by the look of worry that crossed the boyish face. But before he could glorify over his supposed triumph, Sakuragi's expression turned serious and a sly smile was slowly making an appearance across the other's face. 

Resisting the sudden urge to flee to his bedroom,_ What is he up to now? _Kiyota wondered, willing his feet to stay put.

Sakuragi knew from past experience that Kiyota never makes idle threats. If he said that he'd tell Maki then he would. And THAT's what he needed to avoid, at all cost. He knew of Maki's tendencies to be an anal retentive and was already very familiar as to how the former would react if presented with an unclean and disorderly house. Maki would make him stay till the place was sparklingly clean and to top that, he'd make him fix and clean even the ones he didn't touch. Desperate as he was for something to make him forget his woos, cleaning was not one of them and he'd do anything to keep Maki in the dark. With that in mind, he quelled his pain and shooed his problems away, focusing only to the one who could help him achieve his goal, Kiyota. 

_I'm sorry, Nobu-kun. I just had to do this. _

Across the room, Kiyota was rooted to where he was standing; trying very hard to mask the feeling of anticipation as well as the light shivers running in his body. Tongue-tied, he watched in expectation as the taller player slowly made his way towards him, hips moving in a seductive manner, eyes never breaking contact. Brown gaze met his in a knowing look, sending obvious signals. 

_Oh God, he is really going to do it_,_ Kiyota thought. _

The anticipation already etched on his face. Thus, when his fiery lover stopped but an inch from him, he was already having trouble breathing. Mechanically, his arms crept their way from the latter's torso all the way up to that smooth tanned neck while arms wrapped around his waist, bringing their bodies in close contact with each other. 

Heart thumping from the growing excitement, azure shining eyes could only stare longingly over smiling chocolate colored eyes, waiting rather impatiently for the teasing which he knew would come next. Licking his lips, "So, are you now gonna take me up on that offer?" Smiling rather tenderly, "Or are you just gonna look at me?" He asked mischievously, face inching upwards to meet the redhead's already descending lips. 

The kiss was as sweet and every bit the redhead's taste as he remembered it to be. Closing his eyes, he gave entrance to his partner's roaming tongue, letting it slowly explore the cavern of his mouth. Tentatively, he touched the tip of the rosy rounded length with his own, wanting to get a better taste. But suddenly, the redhead pulled back. Eyes wide open, he turned to voice his question but a finger on his lips silenced his protest. 

"Later little monkey. I'll taste your lips again later. For now, I'll wet that horny feeling of yours," Hanamichi said, answering the unspoken question. Slowly, he dipped his head to place a lingering kiss on the junction between Kiyota's shoulder and neck, whilst his hands touched bare and quivering skin. Satisfied with the shudder and tensing of muscles he felt from the other, he continued his exploration and trailed his lips upwards till his probing tongue darted its way inside one captive ear. Hearing a soft moan, "You like this, right little monkey?" Not waiting for a reply, he led his hands to wander inside the latter's sweat pants, one hand kneading a round smooth bottom while the other probed for a tiny hole. Finding what his finger sought, he slowly sheathed his middle finger inside to probe deeper and felt a devilish sense of satisfaction when his partner's gasp of pain turned into a moan of pleasure when his finger touched that sensitive area. Murmuring his apologies, he then placed his hands on the sides of Kiyota's hips to hinder him from thrusting and smiled when he felt his slight struggle. "Let's not rush, Nobu-kun. The night is still young," he whispered, leaving his torturous teasing of Kiyota's ear to suck hard onto the exposed neck, making sure that he had an ample amount of skin trapped inside his mouth. 

"Hana, that's going to leave a mark," Kiyota said, but with a smile on his face. 

The redhead did not reply at once, instead he sucked even harder and licked the skin inside his mouth. Satisfied with his work, he released the skin and watched the red mark now visible. Chuckling softly, "Tell Maki it's my gift for him. That'll give you something to look forward to when he comes back". The last sentence was whispered rather seductively. He knew that Maki will not be outdone if he ever saw that mark, but for the meantime he had a mission to finish. Slowly, he let one of his hands slid towards the brunette's semi-erected rod, his finger sliding from its tip down its length to cup his testicles. 

Jerking suddenly from the touch, "Aahhh… Hana…please..." Kiyota all but begged, arms tightening around Sakuragi's neck.. 

"What do you want, Little Monkey?" 

"I want you." 

Smiling to himself, "How much do you want me?" Sakuragi teased, breathing heavily on his captive's ear. 

Moaning, "I'd do anything. Just hurry." Kiyota's hands were already making frantic and erotic movements around Hana's back, coaxing him to fulfill his need. But before his hands could go further down, he suddenly found his back against the wall with his hands pinned above his head. 

With one hand grasping the Kiyota's chin, "You'd do anything?" Sakuragi asked, his lips an inch over the brunette's. 

Blue eyes transfixed over twinkling brown ones and gulped before answering. "Yes." Then, Kiyota watched as those same brown eyes lowered to where a finger was tracing the outline of his lips, "Would you loan me the money again, Nobu-kun?" The question barely registered in his subconscious, thus he only nodded. "How about this mess? Would you help me clean this up and not tell, Oldy?" Again, he nodded. His head was already full of the redhead and of his aching arousal. He really did not care whether he promised him his whole months allowance. 

Reveling in his easy conquest, Sakuragi finally took pity and decided that he would end his foreplay and give satisfaction to the other. Leaning forward, he let his tongue replace his finger along the thin red line, coaxing them to open wider and give access to his probing tongue inside. 

Fueled by his earlier denial, Kiyota darted out his tongue and a fight for dominance began. Tongues dueled. The kiss deepened. Both players almost out of breath, but still no one made a move to stop, their ego not wanting the other to get the upper hand. But when the redhead's hand enveloped his length, all coherent thoughts left Kiyota and he allowed his tormentor to master him. 

Feeling the other's surrender, the Shohoku player transferred his lips' assault towards the other ear and enveloped the tiny lobe completely inside his mouth, his tongue darting in and out in sync with his hands' expert stroking of the boy's manhood. Seconds later, he felt his partner stiffen and the latter's cry of release echoed around the room as the sticky liquid flowed in a mass onto his hand. 

Giving the satiated teenager a quick kiss, Sakuragi slowly removed his hand and went to pick a tissue to wipe his hand dry. Returning his glance to the other, he was slightly amused to see Kiyota sliding slowly down the floor, a satisfied smile plastered on his face. "Oi , you better get up. I'm hungry and you're treating me to dinner tonight." 

Through the haze, Kiyota silently mulled over the fact that the redhead still remained calm and unaffected, whereas he was totally spent from their 'foreplay'. "How… could… you… stay… composed and unaffected?" He asked through pants. 

Not really understanding the question, "What do you mean?" The redhead inquired, brows furrowed.

Picking himself up, "I mean, look at you. You're not even sweating," Kiyota pointed, looking at the taller player through still glazed eyes. 

Finally comprehending Kiyota's question, Sakuragi merely smiled and said "That's because I only meant to tease you into giving in to all my request." He admitted, turning away for a second to throw the tissue into the waste bin. 

Stupefied, "What?!" 

Ignoring the outburst, Sakuragi calmly said, "Yeah, Oldy taught me this neat trick of keeping my libido in check. 'Give pleasure and quell your passion. Enough to make him come first'. That's what Maki taught me." 

_Maki taught him that? "When? How come I didn't know about this?"_

Liking the stupefied expression on Kiyota's face, "We did it three times and I failed twice," Sakuragi supplied, smirking.

"You? and Shinichi?" Kiyota asked, incredulous.

"Why? Jealous?" Seeing the glare, Sakuragi stopped his snicker in time to say, "If it's any consolation, he taught me that so I could..." he faltered.

"Yeah," Kiyota pushed. He was going to get his answer regardless of Sakuragi's obvious discomfort.

Looking anywhere but at Kiyota, "So I could use it to tease Rukawa," Sakuragi confessed, his face turning as red as his hair.

Kiyota's brow shot up and he was about to say something when realization hit him in the face. "You mean to say that you used THAT to make me agree with you?" He felt hurt in a way. He had thought for a moment that the redhead wanted him somehow. 

"Yeah," Sakuragi sheepishly replied. 

Seeing red, "Why you sneaky red monkey you. I'll teach you a lesson or two," Kiyota threatened, marching dangerously forward intending to have a full out fight just to wipe that smug look on that cute face. 

Unaffected, Sakuragi grinned from ear to ear, enjoying the moment as thoughts of the silent Shohoku player was again pushed at the back of his mind.. "What will you teach me, you Little Monkey? I already taught you a lesson for today. Oh you want more? Hmm, lemme see. What can I coax out of you this time?" Deep in thought, his arms crossed across his chest and playfully tapped his chin with his forefinger. "Maybe a week's dinner at Danny's. Yeah, that's it. Free meal. Ok, let's start," he invited, eyes twinkling while flexing his hands in a show of preparing for something. 

The Kainan player stopped dead in his tracks when he saw that devilish calculated look on those brown depths . Disgusted with himself for feeling the same anticipation, he turned away and went in the direction of his room. "Stay here and I'll change," he muttered, walking away grumbling. 

"Don't forget to bring lots of cash!" Sakuragi yelled then laughed when he had to dodge a flying couch pillow thrown by Kiyota. 

Inside his room, Kiyota covered his ears to block that annoying laugh. "That idiot. Why did Shin-chan teach him that?" Feeling slightly jealous, he made a mental note to ask his lover upon his return from the university. He can't have Sakuragi having the upper hand every time. Then after some thought, "That means, I'll be the one being tortured every time?" 

Images of his dark and sensual lover coming to flood his mind and then, suddenly, a pair of honey brown eyes joined his sensual vision, tormenting him to no end with his teasing. "Aarggghhhh! Totally unacceptable. I should be the one doing the teasing, not that stupid monkey." 

_Idiot_. ___He only did that to ask you for that loan. You still think you're special to him when he has that Shohoku ace in his system now? Not likely_. Y___ou just have to content yourself in being his friend_. _ His mind painfully reproached._

After a while, "I don't think I can just be his friend," he thoughtlessly admitted.

_Don't you think I know that? But the thing is, __you don't have__ any choice? He's in love with him for God's sake. You __know __that. __Shinichi knows __that. So live with it and stop acting l__ike a jealous boyfriend. You're not his boyfriend! You're his bed partner. A fuck._

That hurts. Bad. But before Kiyota could even start thinking about it, a loud call from outside snapped him from his reverie. Without another thought, he hurriedly finished dressing and went out of his room. Picking up his keys, he brushed past the impatient loud mouth and walked out into the night, ignoring the still pricking pain in his chest.

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To be continued....................


	2. Acts of Love

PART 02: ACTS OF LOVE

  
  
{At Danny's}  
  
Upon arriving at the diner, Kiyota and Sakuragi were rather thankful that it was not packed with its usual customers. Only a few were dining, either alone or with a companion or two. For Sakuragi, it was a welcome respite since he was not entirely sure that he could bear the usual bustle of noise and laughter that night. Scanning the place, his spirits rose as lady luck made his favorite spot available. With a nudge to his companion, he silently lead them towards the rightmost corner of the diner where a table was rather alienated from the rest, giving its occupants a much needed privacy.  
  
Once seated, Sakuragi beamed when a waiter immediately came and took their order. Soon after, the waiter returned bearing two cokes and two sandwiches, much to the redhead's hungry stomach's delight.  
  


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{Somewhere in Kanagawa}  
  
Head bent, shoulders slump, hands tucked inside a basketball jacket's pockets, a lone figure walked without a real sense of direction along the now, almost deserted, streets of Kanagawa. It didn't seem to matter to the guy where his feet would lead him since his thoughts were currently focused somewhere else or rather on 'someone'.  
  
A dog's bark effectively brought the guy's attention to where he was. Stopping for a moment, sapphire eyes barely registered the absence of people around him as well as the lateness of the evening before resuming his aimless walk . His body, though aching for the comfort of his bed, could do nothing but heed his heart's yearning... To see him again. But where to look was still a mystery to him since the guy he was seeking would surely be reluctant to be anywhere near him again.  
  
With an uncharacteristic sigh, a pale hand relinquished the warm haven of the jacket's pocket and started kneading an aching forehead. The throb started earlier that afternoon and worsen came nightfall but he ignored it. He had not taken anything for the pain since no medicine could take the 'real pain' away anyway. Nothing could.  
  
_But someone can.  
_  
Taking reign over his heart's silent whispers, the guy shook his unruly raven locks and took a moment to lean against a wall; calming his nerves, resting his growing weary limbs, and giving his aching head a knead from both his hands. He knew he couldn't go on like this. But he couldn't stop either. He had to do something. Need to know something before he eventually seek the sanctuary of his lonely apartment. Thus with a determination that was not entirely alien to him, he straightened himself and continued on his journey, silently praying that his feet carries him to where his heart wanted to be.  
  
_To see him again._

*************************************************

  
{Back at Danny's}  
  
"Why aren't you eating?" Sakuragi asked, lifting his eyes towards his surprisingly silent companion.  
  
"Not hungry."  
  
Grinning, "Still upset that I got the better of you huh?" Sakuragi egged, wiping his mouth. In response, Kiyota just humphed and turned his attention to the menu in front of him, seemingly trying to read what was written without actually reading it.  
  
"Come on, I thought you enjoyed it. And if I remember it correctly... You even begged me for it." The redhead troublemaker from Shohoku High School couldn't help the twinkle in his eyes as he interjected the last part.  
  
"Stop reminding me of that." Kiyota bit back, turning sideways in an act of ignoring the brown-eyed imp.  
  
Not even perturbed, Sakuragi chortled and said, "I can't help it. You're just too damn easy to bait and..." He stopped. He would have gone on and on with his teasing if not for the death glare that he was suddenly facing. Shifting in his seat, "So, are you gonna eat that?" He asked, pointing to the still untouched sandwich, the obvious change in topic effectively subduing an imminent quarrel.  
  
Glare gone in exchange for disbelief, Kiyota shook his head and said, "You're unbelievable," then passed the sandwich to Sakuragi. To his chagrin, the redhead tease gave him a wink before tackling the sandwich with his usual enthusiasm for food.  
  
Across the room, the door of the diner swung open and in came a rather tall, tanned, and formidable looking young man. Dark brown eyes scanned the area for a red and black unruly kept hair. Catching something bright, his solemn face broke into a slight smile as he strode towards the pair. The red mop was bowed low, stuffing himself with a sandwich like he had not eaten for weeks. The new comer grinned, finding the sight delightful indeed. The one with the dark unruly kept hair had his back on him and a mischievous gleam flickered in his eyes. Slowly, he made his way to the pair and then made his presence known by nipping the neck of his lover.  
  
A startled, "Eeeppp," was wrenched out from the shorter guy as he almost jumped out from his chair.  
  
The redhead, though surprised himself, laughed out loud upon seeing the horrified look on Kiyota's face and said, "Can't believe he got you on a sneak attack, monkey."  
  
Ignoring the loudmouth, Kiyota turned towards his teaser and chastised him. "Shin-chan, you shouldn't sneak up on people like that."  
  
Maki just grinned and took the empty seat between the two sophomores'. "So why page me to come here?"  
  
Surprised, "You paged him to come here?" Sakuragi questioned, brown eyes locking with blue.  
  
"Why not? I knew he'd be back tonight or tomorrow morning, so I paged him to come here instead."  
  
Clearing his throat, "Again, why are we here and not at home?" Maki repeated, and then looked back and forth to the two younger players; one was looking anxious and the other was smirking.  
  
Fidgeting in his seat, "Kiyota owed me dinner so he's treating me tonight," the redhead supplied, grabbing his coke so he wouldn't be expected to say anything else.  
  
"Really?"  
  
_Payback_. After casting a quick glance at his once bickering partner, "Well, not entirely true. You see, carrot top here just threw a tantrum over at our apartment and since we can't order in because of the mess, we decided to dine out," Kiyota disclosed with a satisfied smirk.  
  
"What mess?" Maki asked, his brows creasing in a slight frown.  
  
Glaring daggers at the shorter guy, "Nothing. Kiyota's making things up," Sakuragi interjected, hoping to have the matter drop.  
  
Matching glare with a glare, Kiyota adamantly replied, "Am not!"  
  
"Do to!"  
  
"Not!"  
  
The argument went back and forth, it was like a sick game between two of them. Sighing, Maki had thought that advancing a year would give the two some sense of maturity but boy was he wrong. Standing up, he delivered twin blows on each unruly head.  
  
"Ouch!" Cried both players while rubbing the lump on their heads.  
  
Kiyota's dark blue eyes threw daggers at his lover as he all but yelled, "Why did you that for?"  
  
Before Maki could answer Kiyota. Sakuragi leaned forward to grab Maki by the collar. "Why you, only Gori does that to me."  
  
Slapping the redhead's hands away from him, "You two are acting like bumbling idiots, it's the only way I remembered of stopping you," Maki answered, not the least bit remorseful of his actions though he was aware that patrons at Danny's were scuffling away from them. Turning his attention back to the two, "So, either one of you wanna tell me what really happened?" He repeated.  
  
Pouting, "Hmph, I won't tell," Kiyota replied, crossing his arms for emphasis.  
  
Sakuragi, on the other hand, knew from the set of the stubborn chin that Maki was not going to let the matter drop. Taking a deep breath, he sagged back in his seat and began telling his story. "What he said was true. I did went to your place and sort of..." he trailed for a second, gesturing in the air with his hands. "... mess things up but it was not that bad."  
  
Upon hearing that, Kiyota turned his head sideways and stared wide eyed at the man on his right. "NOT THAT BAD!? You almost wrecked the whole place and would have punched holes through the walls too if we've stayed a while longer."  
  
Bobbing his crimson head up and down, "That too," Sakuragi dejectedly admitted but not without glaring at his shorter companion again.  
  
"Why?"  
  
Brown eyes shifted gaze to a darker shade of brown in attention but only managed to say, "Huh?"  
  
Maki sighed. Placing his elbows on the table, he leveled his gaze with that of the Shohoku player's and said, "Why did you feel the need to thrash the place?"  
  
A look of sadness crossed the boyish face, brown eyes now downcast. "I… I saw Rukawa yesterday and I... I told him what I feel for him, but…"  
  
"Let me guess, it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, right?"  
  
Sakuragi shook his head and mumbled, "No."  
  
Before Maki could say anything, the diner's door swung open again, bringing in a tall arresting young man wearing a red and black jacket with the word Shohoku written on it. This time, the newcomer scanned the almost empty place for a seat suitable to his present state of mind.  
  
When Maki saw the roaming eyes stopped at their table, his lips curved into a smile after seeing the play of emotions on the newcomer's face. _Interesting_, he thought.  
  
Surprise, joy, pain, anger, and jealousy. Yes, jealousy was definitely there since it was the expression which stayed painted in the Shohoku player's face even after being seated at the other corner of the diner.  
  
Tearing his gaze away, he studied his two companions. Since they were seated in a circular fashion and with his being the one facing the door, it was not surprising that the other Shohoku player's arrival had gone unnoticed by the two. Placing his elbows on top of the table, he was then made aware of the waiter's presence beside him and after giving his order, he gave his attention to the only person who dared called him an old man. "So, Hanamichi, what do you intend to do now?"  
  
Taken by surprise," I don't know," Sakuragi honestly answered. Actually, he hadn't put much thought on the subject ever since that morning. _It hurts way too much. Maybe I should just forget him and move on_, he considered.  
  
_But it'll hurt you much more. Right, Hanamichi?_ His mind countered. Groaning out loud, "Can we not talk about it now?" And then proceeded to bang his head, none too gently, on the table.  
  
"Oi, Red Monkey, stop that. We can't pay for anymore damages," Kiyota berated, holding Sakuragi by the shoulder to hinder the latter's further attempt of self-injury.  
  
Quite surprised at his junior's action, Maki didn't say anything but stared and waited for the other to calm down a little. Suddenly, he felt goose bumps rising at the back of his neck. Without giving it much thought, he lifted his head and met, what felt like, the icy glare that was directed at him. Without breaking his gaze from the person across the room, "Did he tell you why?" He questioned Sakuragi, his curiosity now piqued.  
  
Nothing. The younger man was still in lala land, still banging his head lightly on the surface of the table as if the pain would just drop on top of it. Impatient, he whacked the side of that crimson head and was awarded with a deathly glare and a raised fist. Unperturbed, "Stop acting like an 'Aho and answer my question. Did. He. Tell. You. Why?" He punctuated, slapping away the raised fist after emphasizing each word to get his question across.  
  
Straightening in his seat, "Let us get something straight shall we? First, only Kitsune calls me an 'Aho. Second, I am not an idiot. Third, what's it to you anyway? It's kind of personal you know?" Sakuragi answered.  
  
Exasperated, "Just answer the question, Hanamichi, or are you just scared to tell us why this supposed guy who loves you dumped you instead?" Maki dared, suppressing a grin when he saw the sudden flare of fire burning in the other's honey brown eyes. It always works.  
  
With fist clenched, Sakuragi leaned over the table to get closer to the former Kainan captain and said, "I am not afraid of anything. Especially not that proud Kitsune."  
  
"Then why not tell us?" Asked the now curios Kiyota.  
  
Throwing his arms in the air in despair, "Because I don't know his reason. That's why." Sakuragi admitted, feeling the fight to keep that painful experience to himself slowly ebbing away as it became apparent to him that his present company wouldn't let it go. Times like this made him wish for his Gundan's company. At least they wouldn't badger him till he was ready to say anything about the matter.  
  
_God, I miss them. If only Youhei and the others didn't have to work at the beach today.  
_  
"Why not tell us what happened then? Or is that a secret?" Maki taunted, cutting Sakuragi's musing. Switching his glance back and forth his two companions, "Aargghh! The two of you are both nosy. No wonder you're stuck to one another." He tried stalling but their stance remained the same. Giving up, "Ok. You win. This has been the worst day of my life anyway so why ruin the trend, right?" He joked but he only got twin smirks for his futile effort. Subjecting himself to the inevitable, he took a deep breath then started reliving the nightmare that, in his perception, was his own making anyway.  
  
"Last night, I left a note at his house …"  
  
***** Flashback ***  
**  
Sunday morning greeted a jovial Hanamichi Sakuragi jogging his way to where he had asked Rukawa to meet him, the open basketball court near the park. He was not able to sleep a wink last night since rehearsing his would be confession speech kept him till the wee hours of the morning.  
  
It's been a month since Rukawa's return from his trip in the states and it took only a day of knowing about the other's return for Sakuragi to start thinking of a way to make Rukawa know of his 'realized' feelings. How to do it was a challenge though, since the self-proclaimed Tensai had nothing but heartbreak from his past courtship of the opposite sex. This time, however, with the realization of the depth and different feelings he has for the silent raven head boy, Sakuragi spent a week preparing his impending pursuance of 'his' blue-eyed Kitsune. Nothing could deter him from his objective; prove his love and reclaim the love that he unwittingly shun months before.  
  
He did stuffs which he hadn't done with his previous endeavors; observing the object of his affection's likes and dislikes, buying things which Youhei and the others tagged as 'sappy and corny', frequenting the greeting card stalls and learning by heart the meaning behind the words of love written by the masters of the art. That sort of stuff. After that week, he then spent the next two weeks seeing his plan through... To woo the pants off the pale, but handsome, silent, ebony haired Rukawa.  
  
**Act # 1: Love notes**… For the past two weeks, teachers at Shohoku high have suffered migraines in thinking why the redhead was suddenly coming to class early and awake. The reason, though unknown to them, was simple... Sakuragi had to come to school early, where no student was still about, so as to place a note addressed to Rukawa on his classroom table.  
  
Secretly, he would wait just outside the Kitsune's classroom to watch those sapphire orbs glance and pocket the letter addressed to him and sniff the petal that came with it. Afterwards, Sakuragi would cheerily walk towards his own classroom, singing not his national anthem but a love song he had heard from the radio.  
  
**Act # 2: Sweets for my sweet…** Sakuragi found out that the raven head likes to eat sweets every after practice. With that knowledge, he made it a point to leave a Hershey bar or M and M's on top of the blue and black duffel bag, discreetly, before joining their practice. Then to wash the sweets, a cherry flavored Gatorade was left alongside the chocolates.  
  
**Act # 3: Red rose to symbolize his fiery love… **Life was good for everybody surrounding the now cheerful redhead, and Youhei and the others knew the reason for it. Wanting to keep the jolly disposition their friend was in, they helped by placing a single stem of red rose everyday inside the blue-eyed boy's locker. Of course Sakuragi gave them the combination, which the former in turn got from Ayako.  
  
**Act # 4: Food for the heart… **During lunchtime, Sakuragi coerced the server at the cafeteria to give Rukawa a baked muffin, which Youhei's mom baked, in combination with whatever the boy ordered. At first, the server was scared stiff. Imagine fire breathing down your neck, pressuring you to serve and then ice freezing you on the spot, denying to be served. Despite her dilemma, she was able to tell a feasible lie to the glaring boy about him being the lucky pick of the week to have a baked muffin, thus saving her from two week's blasting of fire and ice.  
  
Yes, everything turned out as planned. Now the last act, Act # 5: His confession. Smelling the dozen of roses in his hands, Sakuragi couldn't help feeling the first onslaught of first date jitters as he entered the court. Checking his watch, he smiled seeing that he had arrived just in time. Glancing around, he noted that Rukawa was late.  
  
_Guess, I'll have to wait for him.  
_  
Waiting was never his strongest suit but seeing that he had a month preparing for this day, he thought that a few more minutes or hours wouldn't kill him. Stepping further inside the empty basketball court, Sakuragi managed to brush away his usual impatience by remembering the weeks that passed. It had been such a long yet short week for him and he was both glad and not to have found it coming to an end. Though if the urge to continuously express the depth of his feelings was an indication of how his future would be with Rukawa then, he guessed, it's safe to say that he'd not be using the word 'end' in their relationship at all.  
  
Chuckling at how his own thoughts made his heart beat a little bit faster against his chest, Sakuragi brought his attention back to the impending task at hand and wondered how Rukawa would receive his last and final declaration. Would he like it? Would today be the start of them being together?  
  
_Yes.  
_  
Call him egotistical. Call him arrogant. But, he had this uncanny certainty that before the day ends, he would be going home with Rukawa by his side. Feeling a surge of happiness from deep within, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, conjuring up a pair of breathtaking blue eyes, the color of a gem stone, sapphire, and wished for its owner to come soon. He couldn't wait to start their life together.  
  
Suddenly though, another set of blue eyes intruded in his thoughts. This set was of a darker shade but its beauty was not lost to him since he had often reveled at how those pair of eyes made him feel almost weak in the knees just by gazing at them.  
  
A voice inside his head suddenly whispered, Kiyota…  
  
Stunned, Sakuragi immediately opened his eyes and looked around. Seeing nobody, he whacked himself with his free hand and cried, "Aargghh, why is that Monkey in my head today of all days?"  
  
_Why not?_ His mind asked.  
  
"Because I need to focus on Kitsune now and not that Monkey."  
  
_Admit it, you've grown to care for that so-called Monkey…  
_  
"Yeah so. What's that got to do with Rukawa and I?" He defended, though to whom and why was a blank to him.  
  
_You're playing with fire, Hanamichi. Sooner or later you have to deal with this. _His mind warned.  
  
"I know that," he growled at no one in particular. "But I get to choose when and it is not now. So, SHUT UP!"  
  
"Who are you talking to, 'Aho?" A familiar deep somber voice spoke from behind Sakuragi and it was a wonder that his feet stayed glued to the ground. Turning around, he saw the raven head standing a few feet away from him.  
  
Cursing his stupid mind, "Er, no one. Just talking to myself. I'm glad that you came," the redhead greeted, his smile mirroring his words.  
  
"I was curious," was Rukawa's clip reply and then, upon noticing the bouquet of flowers, "Going to a funeral?" He queried though he knew the answer to that one.  
  
Blushing stark red, Sakuragi chuckled. "No. Here, they're for you," he said, offering the said bouquet to the one whose name was showed on the card.  
  
Rukawa's face showed no surprise but an unmistakable expression of pain marred his calm facade which somehow alarmed the redhead. But before Sakuragi could even ponder on the said expression, Rukawa threw the flowers to the ground and icily said, "I am not a girl. Stop giving me this stuff."  
  
Dropping his still outstretched arm to his side, "But you seemed to like the stems of roses I gave you before?" Sakuragi pointed, expressions of confusion and hurt wiping the smile off his face.  
  
In response, Rukawa turned away and said nothing, hands clenched on his sides.  
  
Ignoring the deep sense of foreboding that was slowly creeping inside his heart, "Didn't you know that I gave you those roses?" Sakuragi asked, grasping at anything just so he could go on hoping that all would be well for the two of them.  
  
Taking a deep breath, "Yes I do. I am not stupid that I can't figure out your calling card," Rukawa snapped, remembering the Sakura petals. Then, with the intention to wound, he turned to face Sakuragi and said, "I threw them all away."  
  
Sakuragi tried not to flinch but failed. The sharpness of the tone as well as the stone, cold anger in Rukawa's expression shocked him and froze that illusion of them being together into a stand still. Pain started pricking his heart but he couldn't do anything about it. However, numbed as he was from neck to toe, his brain was working hard on deciding whether to run with what little self-dignity he had left or to stay and risk being stripped of that dignity just so he could understand Rukawa's undisguised anger towards him.  
  
Deciding on the latter, Sakuragi found the strength to snap from his painful trance and took deep breaths. Once he gathered half the semblance of his earlier disposition, "Ok, no flowers then. What would you like? Chocolates?" He asked in a hopeful voice, his eyes pleading Rukawa to not to hurt him further by rejecting the idea.  
  
Interpreting Rukawa's silence as a yes, hope flared within the taller Shohoku player again. "Oh yeah, I remembered that you used to like the ones I left for you during practice. I still have a Hershey bar," he excitedly said and immediately made a beeline for his duffel bag on the ground, only to be stopped by a cold voice saying, "No. I don't want it."  
  
Hands frozen in the process of taking something from his bag, Sakuragi stared up at Rukawa and felt the hurt slowly giving way to anger as he leveled himself to full height and asked, "Well, what do you want?"  
  
Waiting for an answer, Sakurai watched as Rukawa bowed his head low, his fringes hid whatever expression there was in his eyes. Then, when he looked up, his handsome face was already masked with the same stoic facade he always wore.  
  
"I don't want anything from you," with icy blue eyes unwaveringly holding questioning honey brown ones, "…ever again."  
  
Sakuragi flinched, again. But this time, he ignored the pain, anger, and hurt and concentrated on the WHY. "What's the matter with you? I know for a fact that you enjoyed those gifts. The roses, notes, everything! So why in blazes are you saying all this?" He exploded, inching closer to the impassive fox-eyed boy.  
  
Hearing no reply, Sakuragi grabbled Rukawa by the collar of his jacket and all but snarled, "Is this your sick joke of getting back at me? Answer me!" The pain behind the angered voice was unmistakable but he didn't care. He no longer cared if he sounded and looked pathetic to the slightly shorter boy. His heart was breaking, that's all that matters to him.  
  
Rukawa's sapphire orbs held what was once a pair of sparkling, honey brown eyes for a brief second before the hurt and betrayal he saw in them made him look away. Wordlessly, he pried Sakuragi's hold on his collar, and when freed, walked past the latter to retrieve a ball lying on the ground.  
  
Calmed by the familiarity of holding the 'once' focus of his life, Rukawa managed to find his voice and firmly said, "I never liked them."  
  
Sakuragi was surprised to feel himself shaking, whether from anger or hurt he didn't know. His head was still full of questions and he'd be damned if he stopped right now. What's a little more pain? He could take it. He had to. Turning slowly around, he watched as the object of his affection stood with that familiar air of indifference surrounding him. What he would give to be like Rukawa at that moment.  
  
Steeling himself for further heartbreak, "You can't lie to me, Kitsune. I know that you liked them. Now my question is why? Why are you doing this? I thought I was making my feelings clear to you through all those gifts that I gave you.  
  
"…"  
  
Combing his fingers through his red tresses, Sakuragi fought his earlier urge to flee and said, "Look, you might find my ways corny or your male ego just can't take it that another male's courting you but that's my way of showing that I care," he imparted, kneading the throbbing pulse at the back of his neck. "I have never courted anyone in my life. Not those 50 girls who rejected me. Not even Haruko. I'm sorry if it embarrasses you but there's no need to hurt me like this. I love you. Why won't you believe me?" There, he had finally said it out loud. Let those words convey what those material things seemed to have failed to do.  
  
Rukawa's whole stance turned rigid and his facade broke into one of intense anger. Dropping the ball, the silent Shohoku ace walked towards the redhead and stopped when the distance was about an arm's length away. "Love me?" He sneered, eyes blazing. "You don't know the meaning of the word, Sakuragi, so don't you go saying it to me. As for the gifts, I never asked for them so do yourself a favor... Stop."  
  
Ignoring the fact that his former nemesis had spoken far more than a week's worth of his vocabulary, Sakuragi just remained where he was, stoned by the words and the expression of cold hatred burning from the Kitsune's blue eyes. Then, as if woken from his nightmare, he suddenly shook his head and his eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "No!" He cried. "You can't mean that, Rukawa. I don't believe you. Why all these lies? Why? Why?"  
  
Turning away from the redhead's pained brown eyes, "I don't lie, 'Aho."  
  
Taking the raven head by his shoulders, "Yes you do, Kitsune. I know you still love me, still care for me. Why are you hurting me this way?"  
  
Rukawa remained unmoving. He didn't even made a move to remove Sakuragi's firm hold on his shoulders. "Believe what you want."  
  
Shaking Rukawa lightly, "If you're still thinking about what happened the last time, well don't. I know I was wrong when I didn't return your feelings back then, but things are different now. I now know what I feel for you, and I'll prove it to you. Just give me a chance," he begged, holding Rukawa's cold hands in his. But the face before him did not change one bit. Suddenly, the hands in his were wrenched away and a fist went flying to his face.  
  
Dazed by the impact, the redhead could only stare dumbly and then in the coldest voice he ever heard Rukawa use, "I don't love you, Sakuragi, not anymore."  
  
With that Rukawa hurriedly left the court, leaving a devastated redhead banging his fist on the ground and finally letting his tears flow freely down his face. "Rukawa…Why?"  
  
After a few minutes of wallowing in self-pain and anguish, Sakuragi stood up, wiped his tears, and focused on the ball dropped by the Kitsune. Slowly, he went to pick it up and then with all his might, rammed the ball into the hoop. Landing on his feet, he watched as the ball rolled behind the bushes thinking that a few minutes ago he was planning on playing one-on-one with 'his' Kitsune, after their shy confessions and revelations of course. He had to laugh sarcastically at that, thinking how stupid it was of him to ever assume that Rukawa felt the same.  
  
Still holding that sarcastic smile on his face, he turned and went to pick up his duffel bag only to trample on the bouquet of flowers he had bought for his confession. Deftly, he bent to pick them up. The stems were still encased in its wrapping but the roses lost its freshness and its color lost its luster. All that was left of it was a sorry excuse for a lifeless bouquet of flowers, thrown and trampled upon by its cold and unfeeling recipient.  
  
_Just like my heart._ He painfully admitted to himself. Not able to stare at something that reminded him of his broken heart, he blindly threw the bouquet away and cried, "Damn you, Rukawa!"  
  
***** End Flashback ***  
**  
"… and then I left the court," Sakuragi said, ending his story. "Up till now, I still don't know his reasons. I would have looked for him and wrung the answer from his neck, but decided against it. So I went to cool off and then went to your place." Facing Maki but with his head bent low, "I am sorry, Oldy, really I am. It's just that, I was so frustrated and so damn angry and hurt at the same time," he cried, his voice shaking from repressed emotions.  
  
Both Maki and Kiyota grew silent and let their companion recover from the pain of recalling the events that led to his heart getting broken. Eyes brimming with renewed tears, "Now that you know it, you can start laughing at me now. Kiyota did. He said that I was stupid in thinking that I could woo a cold-hearted person like Rukawa." He softly said, and then added, "Maybe I am stupid. Stupid enough to think that I could right the wrong I did when I shirked his feelings for me before."  
  
Kiyota felt like kicking himself when he remembered the careless way he had said those words earlier. Inching his chair closer, "Oi, Hana, you know I didn't mean what I said earlier. You are not stupid and it was not your fault," he gently berated. Wrapping his arms around the Shohoku forward, "Now, how about cheering up and order anything you like. It's on me." Turning the brown-eyed boy towards him, he playfully rubbed their noses together and chuckled when he saw the redhead's obvious surprise at his public show of affection.  
  
_Still shy in public I see. Maybe I could use this to my advantage, Kiyota happily mused.  
_  
He had never before initiated anything like that. Normally they would either bash each other's heads or fight. Whatever, but not like that. Not letting the abnormality of his actions deter him. Kiyota leaned his forehead on the other and proceeded to give Sakuragi a soft and sweet close-mouthed kiss, not minding the curious glances and audible gasps from the nearby patrons, and a pair of burning blue eyes watching the whole scene with pain in his heart.

*************************************************

To be continued..................  


  



	3. The Reason Why

**PART 03: THE REASON WHY **

{At the other end of Danny's diner}  
  
"Hanamichi..."  
  
The name was mouthed almost inaudibly as burning blue eyes watched the dark haired Kainan player locked lips with the redhead. He had this strongest urge to walk over to the trio and yank the dark haired monkey away but he didn't. He couldn't. He'd already blown the chance of making that action 'right'. All he could do now was stare and clench his fist as he slowly bleed inside.  
  
Coming across the diner on his way home after spending the entire day walking around the vicinity of Shohoku High was not totally out of coincidence. Though a major part of him had been apprehensive and wary of seeing Sakuragi so soon after their 'talk', there was that nagging feeling that just wouldn't go away...  
  
He knew he had hurt Sakuragi, and having the entire day of doing nothing but think of how he might have actually blown what could be his only chance of happiness dimmed his sick satisfaction of seeing Sakuragi hurt the way he's been hurt. He had to see him again, if only to see if he was alright.  
  
... His heart had won in the end. Thus, there he was, sitting... bleeding... aching...  
  
Sighing, _if only..._ No, he shook his head, it's too late to be sorry for anything. The cold and callous way he had treated Sakuragi earlier that morning had to be done... or so he kept fooling himself again into believing. Even now, he could still hear himself say the words...  
  
_ I don't love you Sakuragi, not anymore   
_  
**_LIAR_**! His mind screamed. Never had he said anything so untrue as those words ever before. He loved the redhead; loved him ever since he allowed himself to admit that particular fact after loosing the game against Kainan but was afraid to do anything about it till after the game against Ryokufu.  
  
"Hanamichi..."

_I love you. Why won't you believe me?  
_  
Sakuragi's words floated back into his mind and he shivered, involuntary, and closed his eyes, shutting the image of Kiyota now caressing Sakuragi's face. How he had yearned to hear those words and yet he had to throw those words away the minute they were uttered just because of his damned pride. He wished he could have believed him, believe in those words and let himself be happy. He wished he could turn back time and do things differently, act differently. Anything. But now... Now it was too late. Wishing won't change the fact that the only person who managed to awaken feelings which he deemed trivial was with somebody else instead of him.  
  
I love you... Those were the words he had wanted to say but didn't.  
  
_Reality bites, huh, Kaede?  
_  
Rukawa snickered at that. _Yeah, it does._  
  
Opening his eyes, he tried blocking out everyone and everything from his spectral vision as his cobalt blue orbs focused on the figure whose features were, as painful as it was to admit it to himself, looked anything but suffering.  
  
_He's okay. _His mind told him. _Let's go home, there's nothing to keep you here anymore._  
  
_Nothing to keep me here...._ Without really being aware of it, Rukawa's eyes misted as that realization pricked what little shield he had left around his heart, making it crumble into pieces. If only Sakuragi was four days earlier in conveying his feelings out loud, then, most probably, things might have turned out differently.  
  
***** Flashback ***  
**  
{At the court near Shohoku High}  
  
Rukawa had just finished his morning basketball practice and was drinking from his water jug when he heard a familiar laugh. Peeking through the wall like bushes, a vague smile lit his usually impassive face as he caught sight of the familiar mop of red hair. Quickly, he threw his jug into his bag and deftly slung it over his shoulders before picking his basketball from the ground.  
  
_Maybe we could play a little one-on-one?_ He thought and his grin was evident as thoughts of how Sakuragi would react to the challenge played in his mind. The redhead would definitely not let the challenge pass up. God knows how often the redhead had egged him for a little one-on-one before, only to be ignored. But it was different now. Sakuragi had improved, though it was not something he would willingly admit out loud; it would not be good on his ego and will only enlarge Sakuragi's already inflated one. He had seen the improvement and was actually proud of Sakuragi's achievement. So, what better way to test that improvement than to spend a school day holiday into a friendly basketball game? Thursday was a good day as any.  
  
Decision made, expectation high, Rukawa jogged to where he had seen the red mop disappeared. But before he could round up the corner, another shrill of laughter reached his hearing. Curious, he slowed his step then made a full stop after the redhead's entire person came into sight. This time, his expression was a mixture of surprise and annoyance when he saw his teammate's companion.  
  
"What's he doing here?" He mused, eyes narrowing into slits. Suddenly, a conversation he had heard once from his classmates flitted, unbidden, in his mind and his heart started beating precariously fast against his chest.  
  
_Sakuragi is seeing some guy from Kainan.  
  
A guy?  
  
Yeah.  
  
Are you serious? Don't tell me he's gay?  
  
I didn't say that!  
  
But what if he is?  
  
Well, then that answers your question though why he'd choose some guy from that school is beyond me.  
  
You're sick! Aren't you the least bit concern that one of our players might actually be gay?  
  
Why should I? It's none of my concern anyway.  
  
_Rukawa had walked away before the other girl could answer back. The conversation didn't just made him uncomfortable but slightly edgy as well. It was good that at least someone's not against homosexuals but that bit about Sakuragi seeing someone, a guy, hurt him. Later that day, during practice, he remembered paying extra attention to the redhead. He found nothing suspicious though, except for the chocolates, the gatorade, the note, and the rose he'd been receiving for two days in a row. Suffice to say, he went home that night forgetting the conversation altogether..  
  
But now... Seeing the two together... That same feeling of discomfort and edginess was back, telling him something which his heart was still fighting hard to repress. Willing the feeling to go away, he fought to keep an open enough mind and sought to give reason as to why the two were together.  
  
_They hate each other_, his mind reminded him.

_So why are they together?_ He mused.

_And they look quite close too_, his inner self jeered.

Putting a halt to that thought, Rukawa then edged nearer to the pair though not near enough to be spotted. Opting to wait, Rukawa leaned against the pole just across the street and allowed himself to remember what it was that made him believe that that particular conversation he overheard was just plain hearsay.  
  
A week after he rejoined the team, his captain, Ryota, and his teammates, except for Sakuragi, had gotten the kick of teasing him senseless whenever they'd see the stem of rose inside his locker. He had ignored them, of course, and went about his own way. He couldn't very well tell them that he had actually loved the roses, or the sweets, or the notes, and yes, even the muffins.  
  
Oblivious of how he was already attracting curious stares as well as admiring glances just from leaning against the wall with a tender expression lighting his already handsome face, Rukawa gave some passersby a reason to stop and stare when a small smile displaced his usually pencil drawn lips. So caught up was he in his own world remembering that he totally forgot where he was and why he was there. All his attention was wrapped on those moments in the past; moments that were given preciously to him by Sakuragi.  
  
True that he had felt awkward and quite uncomfortable with all the attentions he had received the past month. But still, the surge of happiness.. the warmth against his chest... He wouldn't trade those for anything in the world. It had really caught him unprepared to feel that he was being seriously wooed. Not by one of his gawking fans, but a guy. And was shocked even further to admit that he actually liked it. Of course, if it had been anybody else than his 'Aho then he would have hunted the guy down and beat him to a pulp.  
  
With a slight chuckle escaping his lips, he fondly remembered one of the random notes he had received the past month.  
  
**

*************************************  
In the morning  
when the sun  
is just starting to light the day  
I am awakened  
and my first thoughts are of you  
At night  
I stare at the dark trees  
silhouetted against the quiet stars  
I am entranced into a complete peacefulness  
and my last thoughts are of you  
I LOVE YOU!  
*************************************  


**_(Note: The poem is by: Susan Polis Schutz)  
_  
The words were like a cut from someone's poetry, or maybe it was, but the sappiness and crappiness of it went unbidden to him. Instead he felt elated by the fact that Sakuragi had taken the time to think of coming up with it.

Yes, it had been one heck of a month and he wondered what Sakuragi has in store for him next.  
  
All of a sudden, a loud yelp snapped Rukawa to the present and it took only a second of looking around to find out its source, Kiyota. It seemed to him that the Kainan player had tripped over something. If he was not preoccupied, he would have snickered.  
  
Straightening, he returned his full attention to the present and watched as Sakuragi hurriedly went to the aid of the Kainan player on the ground. Upon helping Kiyota onto one of the street benches, the redhead bent his knees and inspected his companion's bruised knee.  
  
_Idiot. You just have to get his attention by falling. _Rukawa bitterly thought, eyeing the Kainan player with fire in his eyes._  
_  
He could see that the redhead had torn the jeans open, exposing the bruised knee further, and then took something like a handkerchief from his pocket. Spitting on the cloth to make it slightly damp, Sakuragi then proceeded to clean the wound with it. Maybe it was the roughness of the cloth or the force of the dab, Rukawa really couldn't make out, but suddenly, another loud yelp was wrenched out from Kiyota's lips making the 'Aho lift his head up. Waiting for any semblance of response from the redhead, Rukawa was suddenly taken slightly aback after hearing Sakuragi's burst of laughter from whatever it was that Kiyota had said. Possibly aggravated, he saw Kiyota playfully punch Sakuragi's shoulder and then move his head from side to side before stooping low to whisper something to him.

Rukawa was suddenly beset with jealousy over the shorter guy's nearness to the redhead, and would have risked being spotted if not for a voice telling him to stand his ground and wait.  
  
When Kiyota pulled back, he could see a grin plastered all over Sakuragi's boyish face and replied something back. Before Rukawa could even ponder on it, he saw the redhead bent his head to place a kiss on Kiyota's bruised knee and then stood up. That alone made his mind reel in disbelief and felt his heart clench. Then, to make matters worst, he watched as Sakuragi rendered the same tender gesture towards his companion's forehead and then trailed slowly down to lightly touch his lips onto Kiyota's.  
  
Glued by what he saw, Rukawa stood rigid as his eyes closed shut in an effort to block the painful sight. _This is not happening! This is not happening._ He chanted like a mantra. But the vision lingered in his mind, splashing him with cold realization of what the action implied and no matter how hard he willed it to disappear... he had this acute feeling that his world had been turned inside out once again, exposing him to the same pain and heartache he had felt once.

"Just like before… Just like the time before I leave for the states." He sadly remembered. Upon opening his eyes, Sakuragi had already settled Kiyota comfortably on his back, intending to give the guy a piggyback, possibly all the way to Kainan.  
  
Seconds, minutes, hours? Rukawa didn't know how long he stood there after the pair disappeared. All he was really aware of was of how his heart felt painfully crushed. He couldn't move, couldn't react. It was only when a loud horn from a stopping car down the street permeating through his haze did he snap from his trancelike state. And though he was now rendered mobile, all he did was to punch the unknowing pole beside him. 

It was a good thing that there were not much people about, for he would have seemed comical to some, seeing that he turned the pole into a sack of punching bag and stopped only when blood trickled down his hand. Tired, drained, and emotionally aching all over, he slumped on the ground and cradled his head between his hands, heedless of the tears now flowing freely from his eyes.  
  
_Why, 'Aho? Why lie? Why show that you care when you have him in your life?_ He mentally cried, immersed in his personal hell.  
  
Two stores down the street, a middle-aged man had just exited the coffee house and was about the cross the street when he spotted the seemingly asleep young man not far from where he stood. Thinking that the teen had gotten drunk or something the night before and was unable to go home because of it, the middle-aged man walked towards the hunched figure and gently tapped one raised arm.  
  
"Son, it's time for you to go home now. Your parents must be worried sick about you." Though the man expected a reaction of sort, he was visibly taken aback when he realized that the youth was not not really asleep, but crying.

"What..."  
  
Whatever the man was about to say was cut off as Rukawa barked a curt, "Go away!" Venting his feelings on a stranger was not intentional. It was just unfortunate that the man had chosen that time to be a good Samaritan.  
  
Taking heed in the warning clearly seen in the youth's pain filled blue eyes, the man wisely backed away. "Sure, Kid. It's your problem, not mine," he said, turning to leave. But before crossing the street he again turned and added, "Just remember that talking about it helps. You need to do something about that feeling, Son. Don't let the negative feelings eat you alive. Do something about it."  
  
Rukawa followed the retreating man's back as the advice managed to pervade through the torrent of emotions and questions raging in his heart and head. "Do something about it..." He trailed. And after like a minute or two, he angrily brushed his tears away as the usual icy glint in his eyes gradually returned.  
  
He had to have answers, and he knew just where to start asking.  
  
_Mito.  
_  
***** End Flashback ***  
**  
Looking at his still slightly bruised hand now deathly white from gripping the edge of the table, he remembered how the dark haired gangster and the others tried to evade his questions, answering incoherently and taking turns in pointing the other. But since they saw that he was serious and determined to know the truth, they finally caved and reluctantly admitted that Sakuragi's involvement with Kiyota was, indeed, true.  
  
_ They are lovers or were   
  
Sakuragi stopped seeing him when he heard you came back   
  
I can't tell you if Hanamichi loved him or not   
  
He didn't tell you because he didn't want you to get hurt   
  
He'll tell you in his own time   
_  
Those were Mito's words. Past or not, the truth hurts. He had silently thanked fate that there was no school that day since there was no way he could have faced anybody, let alone Sakuragi himself. Hence, to escape everything and everybody, he locked himself in his room for the remainder of that day. Once in his room, however, all he did for a full hour was to stare at a fading picture of Sakuragi in his hands, creased at the edges after being crumpled and then smoothened once too many times during the hour. He couldn't understand himself. For all the obvious reasons, hating the redhead would have been the right thing to do. He did, in fact, for a while. He hated him enough that he almost threw every token Sakuragi had given him. But he stopped himself in time. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. The love notes, poems, little messages, and that one picture in his hand of the self proclaimed Tensai, those, as well as the Sakura petals already wilted in his shoe box, were all that was left of his illusion that Sakuragi loved him.  
  
And now, after reliving the past, he watched the object of his affection and misery across the diner and wondered... _Have I done the right thing?_ _Was salvaging my pride worth this much hurt, this much pain?_ His heart cried 'no' but his mind reminded him that it was already too late. What's done is done, no use thinking about it anymore.

{At the other end of the diner}  
  
Maki observed the two chuckling teen before him with a tinge of affection and slight envy in his eyes. And for whatever they were chuckling about now, he had no idea. He was lost in his own world. A world where he was but a spectator to Kiyota's and Sakuragi's still-yet-to-be-named-and-recognized relationship. People who knew of this, as well as his own personal relationship with the former, often asked him why? Why allow the one he professes to love be intimate with someone else? Why agree to it? Why stay? Why continue? Why live that sort of life? Why?  
  
Why indeed, he wondered as he sat back and kept only half an awareness to what's going on around him. Those were questions he had asked himself once too many times before. But try as he might, he always came up... vague. It was as if there was really no way around the situation they were in... Accept or Leave. Eventually, he grew tired of asking himself, and in fear of loosing what he deemed to be as the best thing that had ever happened in his life, he resigned himself to the fact that his lover has this unnamed bond with another man. Eventually, he learned to live with it. And eventually, he grew to like the redhead as well.  
  
Now, as he sat across from the two, there's that feeling inside of him that sort of warms his heart. Jealousy had no place in their life anymore. None for the relationship before him. None for Kiyota's special feelings for Sakuragi. And most definitely none felt towards Sakuragi. Whatever relationship the three of them presently have or may have had, Maki holds it special in his heart.  
  
With a slight chuckle to himself, he put a stop to his thoughts and returned his attention back to the present. Hearing a laugh, he turned to the source and found Sakuragi almost falling off his seat from something Kiyota had said.  
  
"What's the joke?" Maki asked, grinning.  
  
"Er... Nothing," Sakuragi replied, still laughing.  
  
"Oh? Sure sounded something to me." Maki pressed, curious as to what could probably cause Sakuragi's respite from his depression.  
  
"Ch!" Kiyota snorted, straightening in his seat and looking somewhat peeved at his once mentor turned lover. "If you must know, he was teasing me with something you've taught him!"  
  
Eyes snapping wide, "Me? What did I do?" Maki inquired, incredulous and baffled.  
  
If anything, Maki's present expression added to Sakuragi's present fun. He couldn't stop laughing. _Shinichi's definitely going to get it_, he thought.  
  
Uncrossing his arms from his chest, Kiyota leaned towards Maki and said, "What on earth possessed you to teach him that trick anyway?"  
  
"What?" Maki stammered, leaning back to look at Kiyota's face. "What trick?"  
  
Rolling his eyes, Kiyota muttered something under his breath before gripping Maki's ear so he could whisper 'it' to him. No need making nearby patrons uncomfortable by blurting it out loud. When he was done 'delivering' his admonitory speech, he slowly eased back in his seat and gave his lover a reproaching look.  
  
Blinking a couple times, Maki then managed a loud snicker as the 'subtle' admonition finally sunk in. "Don't tell me you're jealous of that?" He asked in all honest curiosity.  
  
"What, so now you're parroting this Red Monkey?" Kiyota rebuked, pointing at a now short-of-breath redhead from continuous laughing. He was slightly miffed to feel that both his brown-eyed lovers were tag teaming against him. It's just not fair! Maki should side with him and Sakuragi should also side with him. Not the other way around.  
  
"Parroting?"  
  
"Yeah, me," Sakuragi revealed, trying but failing to stop his laughter altogether. "I sorta asked that question earlier."  
  
"Oh?" Maki mouthed. He was now the one trying to hold HIS mirth. It wouldn't do him any good to antagonize his lover further seeing that he was yet to receive a proper welcoming home greeting. From both boys.  
  
"Nobunaga, I only taught him that so he could use it on Rukawa," Maki explained.  
  
"Yeah right." Kiyota pouted, turning his head away from Maki.  
  
"It's the truth! Why else would I teach him that?"  
  
Laughter reduced to a slight grin, "Yeah, Nobu-kun, why do you think he'd teach me that?" Sakuragi egged, obviously enjoying himself.  
  
Throwing Sakuragi a glare, Kiyota then turned to Maki and said, "You should have told me."  
  
_What?_ "I should have..." Maki faltered then shook his head. Placing both his hands on the table, he leaned forward and looked straight at glaring baby blue eyes. "Look, there's nothing for you to feel jealous about. If you're mad coz' I didn't tell you, then I'm sorry. But if it's any consolation, it's not that big a deal. So I taught him a new trick, so what?" He shrugged then plowed on. "We didn't do anything behind your back, Nobunaga."  
  
Sensing the change in Maki, Kiyota fidgeted in his seat. He didn't want to start a fight with his once in a while home lover but, he needed to let his feelings out. They need to understand why he was feeling that way. "He used it on me you know," he disclosed in a rather small tone.  
  
"What?" Maki didn't catch that last bit. He was rather preoccupied with trying to understand his lover's sudden jealous spell. If there's someone who ought to feel the slightest bit jealous, it should be him. Turning to glance at Sakuragi, he wondered how the third wheel in their threesome relationship was taking it in. It was not an everyday occurrence to have someone dump you then be someone's source of jealousy. Especially if that someone became close enough to be called 'lover' in the real sense of the word, and not just someone considered as a means of relieving one's awaken desire for the same gender. Looking at Sakuragi, Maki could only see understanding and a tender expression on that boyishly rugged but transparent face directed solely at Kiyota. Despite the tense situation, he smiled. It warmed him to realize that though Sakuragi was hurting from Rukawa's harsh dismissal, the former seemed to be able to forget it, may it be temporary, just by being with Kiyota. In their own different way, they both deeply care for the present Captain of Kainan's basketball team.  
  
Speaking of which, Maki returned to the situation at hand and repeated his question, "Say it again, Nobunaga. But this time, try saying it within hearing range. Okay?"  
  
Sighing, "I said, he used that trick on me."  
  
After a terse silence, "Ah..." Maki finally got it but was far from understanding the reason behind it still. "When?"  
  
"Before we came here," Sakuragi supplied, not tearing his gaze from Kiyota. "What's the matter with you? Are you really upset about t?"  
  
Turning towards the redhead, "Not really, Hanamichi," Kiyota answered.  
  
"Then what?" Both Maki and Sakuragi asked the same time.  
  
Lowering his gaze and fixing it on Sakuragi's half-eaten sandwich, "I... I just don't want the two of you doing something without me," Kiyota finally blurted, head lowered even more.  
  
"That's it? That's your reason?" Sakuragi's expression turned incredulous. He couldn't believe that such a petty reason was the real reason behind Kiyota's weird behavior. Seeing a nod, he frowned. "I don't get it. Why would that upset you?"  
  
For his part, Maki sat ramrod straight in his seat, also waiting for Kiyota's response.  
  
"Because it's not right! He's my boyfriend and you're... you're... my lover!" Kiyota blurted, voice not that loud to reach the next table though. "The two of you aren't supposed to be lovers. It's supposed to be between me and you and me and him. Not you two. There shouldn't be a YOU TWO in this threesome. It should be You, Me, and Him." Kiyota finished, out of breath.  
  
"What?" Sakuragi exclaimed, aghast, voice carrying loud enough to reach some nearby patrons' earshot and one's whose vigil never left their table.  
  
Maki, on the other hand, didn't react quite the same way. If anything, he grinned from ear to ear and had to stifle a laugh. "Possessive aren't you?" Was Maki's only comment.  
  
Kiyota snorted and crossed his arms. "Damn right I am."  
  
Refusing to share Maki's casual acceptance, Sakuragi grasped Kiyota's chin so they could be eye to eye. "Let me get this straight. You're upset coz' your boyfriend and I had a few moments without you?" Seeing a nod, he continued. "Okay, I understand your logic a bit since he," points at Maki, "IS your boyfriend. But, I don't get why you seem to think that that condition applies to me as well?" Looking alarmingly serious, "Since when did I become exclusively yours?"  
  
"Since you started screwing me, you idiot!" Kiyota snapped and then gasped, he had not intended for Sakuragi to know that. _Shit!_ He cursed, heart clenching tight upon seeing Sakuragi's expression. "Hana..." He trailed, reaching out to capture the hand that freed his chin. But Sakuragi turned away.  
  
Guilt... Sadness... Pain... Confusion... Anger... Those emotions were running havoc inside Sakuragi, twisting his gut, gripping his heart. Kiyota's notion of what they were supposed to be to each other tore at him. His life couldn't get more complicated than that. There he was, sitting with two people who obviously cares for him and yet all he could think of was how sorry he was that he couldn't give them what they want and how stupid he was of letting things go further than it should be. Things shouldn't be that complicated. "Damn!" He softly cursed, and as he cradle his head between his hands, he totally missed seeing Maki's understanding gaze and Kiyota's growing trepidation.  
  
What welcome reprieve Sakuragi had from his depression was now gone. He was faced with feeling that ache again. The very same ache which seemed to have found a permanent attachment to his heart from the moment he realized that he loved Rukawa. Ironically, that same ache was the very reason which led him to Kiyota's waiting arms. So why couldn't he return to those arms now? Simple... The ache did not really go away.  
  
"Hana?" Kiyota tentatively called again, worried. Sakuragi had been silent for way too long.  
  
Hearing his name called, Sakuragi lifted his head and brought his pained-confused filled eyes to meet those of his once-ago-distracting lover. A gasp was torn from Kiyota as he saw the expression in those brown depths and he instinctively reached for Sakuragi's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. Little did he know that it alleviated nothing but instead fueled something within the redhead which the former was regretfully feeling.  
  
With a sad smile, Sakuragi freed his hand from Kiyota's grasp and faced forward, meeting Maki's thoughtful gaze. "I'm sorry, Nobu, I didn't mean to lead you on but... like I said... what we have... it has to stop. As much as I want to... I can't, not anymore. Not while he's here," he softly said, pointing to his heart. That admission meant a lot to him. By saying it, he finally accepted the fact that nothing and no one could ever take that ache away again, but Rukawa. And with that acceptance, Sakuragi tore his gaze away from that of Maki's as gnawing guilt overtook him.  
  
Silence hang like a veil of depression around the table as its occupants took a moment to sort themselves out; Sakuragi in silent sufferance, Kiyota in silent struggle with his feelings, and Maki in silent contemplation. Though he knew that Sakuragi's feelings ought to be his primary concern, Maki couldn't help but think of his boyfriend. How to make Kiyota see reason? How to make Kiyota let Sakuragi go? Maki now realize how hard a task it would be. But still, he need to make his boyfriend see reason or at least make him recognize the fact that Sakuragi never once said anything about love and commitment to the both of them.  
  
Sitting beside the redhead, Kiyota was barely controlling the urge to grab the dejected teenager and shake him back to his old self. Brooding and being depressed was not something he'd like to associate Sakuragi with. The redhead was life on two feet and it infuriated him further with the knowledge that even with his absence, Rukawa was successful in taking that life away. If only thoughts could make one suffer, Rukawa would be suffering painfully right at that moment. A sound from Maki brought him back from his perilous thoughts and as he turn his head, he was in time to see his boyfriend reach out to gently caress one of Sakuragi's upturned arm.  
  
Upon meeting dulled honey brown eyes, Maki smiled and sighed. "Hanamichi, I know what you're feeling right now, and believe me, I understand. I don't think Nobunaga meant anything by feeling that way about you." Seeing that Kiyota was about to say something, "He cares for you, we both do, and we don't want to see you hurting," he quickly added.  
  
Somehow, Sakuragi got this feeling that they were not talking about the 'incident' which upset Kiyota anymore. And sure enough, he got his confirmation after hearing Kiyota say, "Yeah, that guy is not worth the pain, Hana. Just forget about him already. You got us."  
  
Guilt aside, Sakuragi turned to Kiyota. "That's just it. I can't. Why can't you accept that I love him, Kiyota?" Sakuragi cried, feeling more hurt by Kiyota's unwillingness to accept that fact.  
  
Kiyota was taken aback. Hearing Sakuragi call him that brought back memories of incessant bickering between the two of them.  
  
Maki sighed and leant back in his seat._ This is getting us nowhere_, he thought, raking his fingers through his hair. Then, without really thinking about it, he suddenly said, "Why can't the two of you reach a compromise?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Looking at his lover, "What I mean is that, instead of you constantly bad mouthing Rukawa in front of Hanamichi, why not help him?" Maki suggested.  
  
Kiyota looked shock. Sakuragi looked hopeful.  
  
"Not happening, Shin-chan. I can't even stand the guy. I'd rather Hana just forgets him." Kiyota said after a while.  
  
Sakuragi's hopeful look came crashing down on him and he returned to cradling his head between his hands.  
  
Brows knitting in exasperation, Maki leaned forward and turned serious eyes to his lover. "Nobu, how many times must we tell you that Hana loves Rukawa. Not you. Not me. Him. HE LOVES HIM! Get that fact to sink into your head will you?" Seeing a scowl, "And stop feeling jealous about it. If you don't want to loose him then you'd better stop that too. Go find something to like about Rukawa. Anything! Just stop fighting Hanamichi about it!" Maki ended in vexation, surprising both Kiyota and Sakuragi.  
  
"And what..." Kiyota started saying then stopped, sounds of plates breaking capturing his attention. Turning around, his eyes widened and his expression contorted into a fierce scowl._ Of all the days..._  
  
"Shit!" Maki softly cursed and leaned sideways to catch a hold of his boyfriend's wrist. He knew what the other was thinking and letting him do it would only cause more damage than good. "Sit down, Nobunaga." He hissed under his breath, tightening his grip on Kiyota's wrist. Out of the corner of his eye, he was half glad to see that Sakuragi was still oblivious to what was happening around him, _still wallowing in his grief no doubt_. And though a voice in his head was telling him to not trample with fate, a full confrontation might not be a good idea. Either way, it was inevitable and it was a good time as any anyway. So why was he stopping his lover from stomping to where a now-openly-glaring Rukawa was standing? Easy... none of them was really ready.  
  
Kiyota, however, was not thinking that way. All he could think of was how he would so like to give that arrogant ice man a piece of his mind. He's been itching to do it ever since the guy's return and who was he to pass up on an obviously open opportunity? One which he wouldn't be likely held responsible of instigating. Ooohhhh, the things he wanted to say, the things he wanted to do, if only Maki would let go of his wrist. Looking down, he wriggled his wrist and tried to get free but to no avail. Meeting his lover's eyes, "Let me go, Shinichi."  
  
"No," was Maki's firm answer, eyes steadfast on Kiyota.  
  
Finally sensing the tiff around him, Sakuragi dropped his hands on the table and turned inquiring gaze from Maki and then Kiyota. A confused and apprehensive look crossed his face as the thought that the two were fighting because of him entered his mind. But before he could say anything, a movement from the corner of his eye made him turn sideways and then... his heart stopped.  
  
"Kitsune..."  
  
Sakuragi blinked, and then blinked again. He couldn't quite believe that Rukawa was there, just a few distance from him. What was he doing there? Was he looking for him? Questions were whirling but none got answered. All he could do was speculate and, deep down, hope. Without even being aware of it, he stood and was about to walk to where Rukawa was when a hand suddenly grasped his arm and jerked him back around.  
  
"What the..."  
  
"Where do you think you're going?"  
  
"Nobunaga..." Maki warned but Kiyota took no heed.  
  
"You're not going anywhere, Hanamichi. You're staying right here and that's that. I won't have him hurt you anymore." Deep down, Kiyota knew he was being irrational and acting way out of line. But he didn't care. HIS Hana's not gonna get hurt again. Not on his watch.  
  
For Sakuragi, something inside him snapped at being held back; his eyes blazed and his fist clenched, ready to strike. Only a niggling voice from somewhere deep within reminding him of Kiyota's feelings made him unclench his fist and quell his anger. "Let me go, Nobunaga," he said, voice calmed and controlled though the underlying hint of his earlier anger was still evident.  
  
By now, Maki has stood as well and purposely placed himself between Kiyota and Sakuragi. If blows were to be thrown, he'd make damn sure to stop it before it's delivered. Becoming a one night spectacle and source of gossip was not his idea of spending the weekend away from the University nor was the thought of a fight ensuing between his lover and Sakuragi.  
  
At the other end of the diner, an oblivious waitress wanting to only clean the broken plates scattered on the floor went scurrying back to wherever she came from after receiving a death glare cold as ice. It's source, after drinking its final fill of the redhead, reluctantly tore it's sapphire gaze away from the trio across the diner. The pain has finally reached the border of unbearable thus with a firm resolve and a definite grip on his emotions, Rukawa bid a silent farewell to his erstwhile love as he walked towards the door, out of the diner, and out of Sakuragi's life...

For good.  


**To be continued...........**

_**A note...**_

_Please bear with me for the slow updates. Can't seem to hold on to that inspiration long enough to finish this fic altogether. And though I have had quite many a times thought of discontinuing this fic - I won't. I can't. I'll finish this.. so just bear with me for awhile. _

_Thanks again for reading.. and again, do leave any comments you'd like to share and impart. It would be highly appreciated._


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